Payback
by nerdyninjaunicorn
Summary: Inspired by a post of Tumblr. You can always trust your best friend...who happens to be your pet snake...who can tell your sister and dad about what happened with a certain Emily Davies...right?


**A/N: So I saw a post on Tumblr last night about what if Harry hadn't lost his ability to speak Parselmouth and it was passed on to Albus. So, if Al had a snake, it could always tell Harry what he was up to... by the way, in this story, Lily and James are also Parselmouths. So enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: Liz no own. **

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><p>Albus hadn't meant for it to turn out the way it did. Honestly.<p>

Well, he _HAD_ always had a thing for Emily Davies (I suppose it proved the Potter's fall for redheads theory), but he certainly hadn't expected their first real conversation to end in sex. But, it had. Not that he was terribly upset about it (he _was_ a seventeen year boy, after all), and he now had a girlfriend. Nothing really could go wrong.

Except, of course, Harold was a problem.

Harold had been Albus's pet snake ever since he'd left for Hogwarts. Since he was a Parselmouth, Harold was like his best friend. Apparently, when he'd brought Emily up to the boys dorms, Harold had happened to wake up after a nap to discover Albus- anyway, Harold wouldn't tell anyone, would he? He had made him swear he wouldn't tell James about what had happened, although he was apparently appalled and mortified by what he'd witnessed. So he was good.

Or so he thought.

Albus definitely noticed that something was wrong when Lily didn't sit with him on the train ride home for Easter. She found it amusing to sit with him to annoy him but she appeared to be avidly avoiding him like the plague.

"What's wrong, Al?" Emily asked, noticing her boyfriend seemed on edge. She went to smooth a piece of his hair that was sticking up only to find her effort was in vain.

"Nothing really," he sighed. "But Lily isn't sitting with me like she normally does."

She smiled sadly. "I'm sorry, Al. But maybe I've got something to make you feel better?" She grinned mischievously.

Albus instantly leaned in to kiss her, and was quite distracted. So naturally he to sliding open of the door in the compartment, to reveal a very disgusted Lily Luna. "Oh my God, AGAIN? REALLY, AL?" Before she fled the compartment as if she were on fire.

Albus appeared confused. "Did you tell her about-" Emily began to ask, face red.

"What? No! I-"

"Al, this is so embarrassing! How could you?" Tears began to form in her eyes as she fled the compartment.

Albus looked pained as Emily left him. He looked into the small carrier. "Looks like it's just me and you, huh buddy?" He said to the green snake. His eyebrows suddenly furrowed. "Say, Harold, you haven't been talking to Lily have-"

The compartment door was flung open by a blond. A certain blond, mind you. "Is it true?" Scorpius Malfoy asked, a grin forming. "Did you actually do Emily the first time you talked to her?"

"I talked to her plenty of times before," Albus said defensively, but Scorpius was too busy having a field day.

"So what'd you say? I really want to know. Must've been good, if you slept with. If you tell me, maybe I can try it on Lily-"

"You're bot going to touch my sister, all right? Anyway, if you must know, Emily and I had been talking about the Goblin Rebellion."

"Oh, Potter, you're a _dog_! Goblin Rebellion! So how was-"

"Before you finish that question, may I remind you that you are dating my sister?" Albus said, wanting nothing more than to give the Slytherin a black eye.

"Good point, good point," Scorpius said thoughtfully. He then spotted Harold. "Hey, there, little guy."

_I am not little, you- _Harold hissed angrily, resulting to swear words.

"Hey, Potter, did Emily say that when she saw your..._snake?"_

"Get out."

"Oh, don't be like that Potter, we're practically family now!"

"Last I checked, you weren't married to my sister, so, I repeat. Get out."

"Fine, geez, just trying to have fun-" Scorpius muttered.

Before he entirely, Albus asked "Scor, how did you find out about, um-"

"Lily told me."

"But how did Lily-"

"Later, Potter."

_Filthy ferret, I don't know what Lily sees in him._

_Well, she says he's rather sweet and caring, but wishes he'd talk more about- _Harold began to say.

_Oi, I don't really care Harold. _

_Why ask a question if you don't want an answer? _Harold grumbled, wrapping himself into a ball.

_You sound like one of those pretentious Ravenclaws, _Albus said.

Harold didn't respond.

_Oh, come on, Harold, don't be like that! I didn't mean it!_

Silence.

Albus sighed. Great. Now his pet was mad at him. Bleeding fantastic. Nothing could get than the silent treatment from Harold.

(Nope. He's wrong. It can get much, much worse. You can get a furious Rose Weasley stampeding into your compartment.)

"Albus Severus Potter, you ridiculous toerag!" Rose exclaimed, face tomato red woth anger.

"What-"

"Why would you tell Lily about how you slept with Emily? Em's been sobbing for half an hour-"

"I didn't tell tell Lily!" Albus yelled. "What kind of moron tells his _sister _about his sex life?"

"Hugo told me," Rose replied haughtily.

Albus sighed. "No, he didn't. You walked in on him snogging Melissa MacMillan while you were on prefect duty, which is completely different."

"No, it's not!"

"Oh, yes it is!"

"Well, who would've told Lily?" Rose asked. "Harold?"

"He could've!" Albus said. "Right, Harold? In fact, did you?"

_At risk of possibly being insulted again, I'd prefer not to answer that question. Besides, I've been meaning to ask, by pretentious Ravenclaws, were you perhaps referring to Emily dearest?_

Albus's jaw dropped. "No, I was not referring to Emily, you-" he exclaimed wildly, forgetting to speak Parselmouth.

"Oh my God, Albus, have you been talking to him about _Emily?"_

"What? No! Not like that!"

"You are unbelievable!" Rose stormed out, red hair flying from behind her.

"Well, I certainly hope you're happy," he said to Harold bitterly. "Noe everyone is mad at me."

Harold chose not to respond.

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><p>"Albus!" A sing song voice said from outside his bedroom door. Lily.<p>

"What?" He grumbled.

"Daddy wants to talk to you!"

"Oh, alright, fine."

Around five minutes later, Albus met his father in the dining room, and the Boy Who Lived was not very happy.

"You wanted to see me?" Albus asked hesitantly.

"As a matter of fact, I did," Harry said, eerily calm. "Harold here has been telling me about a few of your...interesting escapades at Hogwarts." Sure enough, the pale green snake slithered out, looking rather pleased with himself.

"Escapades? What on Earth do you-"

"I'm talking about one involving Emily Davies."

Albus's eyes widened. "He's lying, Dad, honest-"

"Albus, there's no sense in lying about it. You are an adult, you are allowed to whatever- whoever, you want, I suppose," Harry looked slightly disgusted.

"Oh. Thank you, Dad," Albus said, looking down, cheeks very warm.

Harry grinned, however. "Oh, don't think I've let off the hook, yet. I think that it's only fair yoyr mother is aware of what's going on..."

"Dad, no!" Albus said, in pure horror. "You wouldn't- she'll kill me- Dad, please tell me your joking!"

_Payback isssss a bitch! _Harold hissed delightfully.

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><p><strong>AN: I hope you enjoyed this, and if you did, please review!**


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